La Señora November 26, 2009
Posted by notoriouslig in Food of the Gods, That writing I mentioned.1 comment so far
My mother is “La Señora.” She’s the one who calls the landlord when the music is being played loudly at 7 p.m., the one who calls the police when kids are trying to skateboard off the roof, the one who doesn’t return baseballs that get hit into her yard, the one that yells at you to get off of her property.
My mother’s brand of law and order, if not appreciated by those under 40, is welcome by her elderly neighbors. But, for the most part, they’re not the ones prone to retaliation.
Yesterday, the under-18 set went to war with my mom. In the way of mischievous kids, they pelted my mom’s house with limes.
According to my mom, her peaceful afternoon was broken by the loud sound of citrus working against gravity. She heard branches break in the hedges, some loud booms on the garage, and a “thwhack, thwhack, thwhack” against the trash cans.
Because “La Señora” doesn’t ever expect to be under attack, she was more intrigued by the sounds than dismayed. After the first barrage she came out to investigate. As she walked the perimeter of the property she found one lime after another.
She went back inside. The next barrage started and this time she went outside—with a basket. She picked up every single one of those limes. “Y no lo vas a creer, eran de esos limones buenos,” she said. Twice she filled up her basket.
She couldn’t believe her luck. Fifty limes, all from the neighbor’s lime trees. All from trees that are normally just outside of her reach.
It was like manna from the heavens, but because she’s Mexican, even better.
Well-Deserved Honor November 17, 2009
Posted by notoriouslig in Breaking News.1 comment so far
My dear friend, Edith Ramirez, was nominated to the Federal Trade Commission. She’s good people, a fabulous mentor, and someone who’ll do a great job. One reason why I’m a big fan of hers is that she’s too modest to trumpet even this level of accomplishment. That’s why I’ll do it for her.
Wish her luck!
A copy of the White House press release below.
The White House
Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release November 17, 2009 Presidential Nominations Sent to the Senate, 11/17/09
Julie Simone Brill, of Vermont, to be a Federal Trade Commissioner for the term of seven years from September 26, 2009, vice Pamela Harbour, term expired.Scott H. DeLisi, of Minnesota, a Career Member of the Senior Foreign Service, Class of Minister-Counselor, to be Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of the United States of America to Nepal.
Earl F. Gohl, Jr., of the District of Columbia, to be Federal Cochairman of the Appalachian Regional Commission, vice Anne B. Pope, resigned.
Edith Ramirez, of California, to be a Federal Trade Commissioner for the term of seven years from September 26, 2008, vice Deborah P. Majoras, term expired.
Beatrice Wilkinson Welters, of Virginia, to be Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of the United States of America to Trinidad and Tobago.
Correction November 3, 2009
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Oops. A correction from Sunday’s NYT .
An article last Sunday about the Medill Innocence Project, in which students at Northwestern University’s journalism school scrutinize the work of prosecutors and the police, misstated part of the name of a group at the university’s law school that has worked with the students. It is the Center on Wrongful Convictions, not the Center for Wrongful Convictions.
This October 25, 2009 October 26, 2009
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Seemed appropriate to post this today, even though I didn’t get a chance to honor the day completely by watching Henry V.
An Oldie October 11, 2009
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Was looking through my photo albums today and ran across this b&w of my uncle Emilio at a late-50s/early-60s wedding in Buenaventura, Mexico. He’s second from the right, my uncle Regino is on the left. Emilio was my favorite uncle and he died earlier this year. Maybe that’s why I love this picture right now.

Conversation with My Mother October 4, 2009
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Me: Te vas a poner la vacuna del flu?
Mom: No, le tengo miedo. Voy a esperar unas semanas para ver cuantos cuerpos caen.
Translation–my mom’s not sold on the safety of the swine flu vaccine and is watching the body count over the next few weeks before having the shot.
View From a Very Relaxed Perch September 7, 2009
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Just Remembering Stuff August 7, 2009
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John Hughes died today. And, while I didn’t grow up in anything that looked like the neighborhoods depicted in his movies, they spoke to me. In no particular order, my favorite John Hughes memories:
- Breakfast Club–my sister and I talked our way into this film because neither of us was 16 yet. I remember the lobbying taking too much effort. We sat in the Santa Fe Springs movie theater enthralled by the characters we met (in case you care, I identified with Ally Sheedy).
- Home Alone–again, with my sister. This time, it was during a Thanksgiving break while we were both in college. We took in a late show at Copley Plaza and the seven-year-old sitting behind me complained about my hair blocking his view of the screen. We laughed, but didn’t move. I’d grown into myself, and my hair. It is one of my favorite memories of being in Boston (and college) with my sister.
- Weird Science–the closest I came to thinking anyone would ever put my high school in a movie. One of this movie’s scenes was shot in our high school’s gym. I can’t even tell which one when I watch the movie, but I do remember seeing Anthony Michael Hall crammed into the back seat of a Porsche 924 as he zoomed away from campus after the shoot.
- Some Kind of Wonderful–it’s an anthem of sorts, will explain some other day.
- Sixteen Candles–reminded me that I was getting old. When I came back to L.A. after college and gave one of my then students a ride home, she told me her weekend plan was to “watch the old movie ‘Sixteen Candles.’” I didn’t throw her from the moving vehicle. I was kinder then, I told her to pay attention.
- Ferris Bueller’s Day Off–every day reminds me of how great it is to enjoy being yourself.
Thanks again, Mr. Hughes.
Happy Holiday Weekend! July 2, 2009
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The Fifth of July
When I was a little kid, we were too poor to afford fireworks. I suppose I can’t blame my pyrotechnic poverty just on being poor, but more on the fact that my mother didn’t think any part of the welfare check should be spent on frivolity. If we got fireworks, we didn’t get clothes, or we didn’t get food. Sure, it was a practical choice, but as a kid, you just want to rip into the hundred dollar “Independence Day” box of fireworks.
Our fireworkslessness meant that in the days leading up to the Fourth of July every year, we’d visit our more affluent friends and watch them light fireworks. Back then this annual ritual led me to conclude that socio-economic status could be identified by the characteristics of your fireworks.
If you had no color, just sound, you weren’t poor, but you weren’t living in a mansion. You lived in an apartment and shared a bedroom with a couple of siblings. The same went for fireworks with no sound, and just smoke.
If you had fireworks that were colorful, but just rolled around on the ground, you lived in one of the houses in a duplex.
If your fireworks shot color into the air, and did so while crackling, at least one of your parents had a full-time job and probably owned a house with a yard and a driveway (or at least they’d found a way to live in one).
In my family, we didn’t have any fireworks before and up to the Fourth of July. We didn’t get to light something and have sound, or color. Maybe, if we got lucky, someone handed us a sparkler. In the bad years, they handed us the punk used to light the fireworks. Yep, there’s the poor kid, the one with the smoldering ember.
Occasionally, when the sounds of Fourth of July were so muddled that you couldn’t tell the fireworks from the gunshots fired into the air, we pretended to be fireworks. I mean, if you’re a nine-year-old and you scream from a low tone to a very high one, you sound kind of like a Piccolo Pete. And besides, by nightfall, no one even knows what’s going on in neighboring yards, driveways, or streets. Everyone is just staring into the sky, looking for something to make the darkness light. That means there is no risk of being seen joining the cacophony of Independence Day sound, while in your pajamas, from just inside your apartment’s living room window.
I watched from the shadows every year until the Fifth of July. That was the day when my cousin Reggie would come over and my mom, and my sister, and my Tía Rosalba, and my other cousins, and I would go to the local park. Salt Lake Park was the one where the big neighborhood fireworks were set off, and the official, city-sanctioned Fourth of July safe zone for amateur fireworks displays.
We never went to the show on the Fourth of July. My mom was scared that going to the park after dark would make us victims of violent crime, and my Tía Rosalba was a Jehovah’s Witness. Her family didn’t celebrate the Fourth of July.
But, on the Fifth of July, Reggie, Virginia, and I made sure to take a magnifying glass to the park. Our families would stake out a spot next to a tree, drag over a picnic bench, pull out aluminum foil-wrapped burritos, and play dominoes.
Virginia, Reggie, and I headed straight for the previous night’s launching pad.
We crawled around every inch of that soccer-field sized patch of grass, looking for unused fireworks. Although not plentiful, and not colorful, little by little, we’d find some fireworks.
At first, we’d find little black charcoal disks. While we weren’t allowed to buy fireworks, and we weren’t allowed to play with matches, we did know what unused fireworks looked like, and how to start a fire without matches, so out came the magnifying glass.
We figured out the sun’s angle, and the length of time needed to create a flame, and voilà, black plumes of ash came up from the earth and “snakes” came to life.
My sister, Virginia, tore holes in the knees of her jeans and Reggie got dirt in his eyes, before we found another unused firecracker.
Lighting our fireworks became easier with each successive find. We’d get sound, and some smoke, and then we’d laugh hysterically and roll around in laughter on the charred firecracker paper and ashes left from the night before.
Although there were never more than about ten unused fireworks for us to light every year, we had gotten the chance to shoot off some fireworks after all. On the Fifth of July we had not been denied the simple pleasure of creating marvels of sound and sight.
We all knew that our scavenging hadn’t made us children of homeowners this year, but it was understood that ingenuity would get us there some year, maybe next year.
And There’s Not Even a Full Moon June 26, 2009
Posted by notoriouslig in Breaking News.2 comments
From morning to evening, today was full of randomness and oddity. It made for a slightly scary, funny, thoughtful, creepy, strangely sad 24 hours. In order:
8 a.m.–I notice slightly homeless-looking lady looking at me and yelling while seemingly looking for local church’s food bank. 8:01.20 a.m.–Realize lady is not homeless-looking, she is homeless. 8:01.30–Realize homeless lady is not speaking into a bluetooth headset, but is instead approaching and yelling at me as I pump gas into my car, “You bitch, thinking you’re all that standing there next to your red car . . . .” 8:01.40–Position myself to spray her with gas just in case she acts on her distaste for me and my car.
9:40 a.m.–Hear Farrah Fawcett died. Sadder than I expected to be.
3:45 p.m.–Hear Michael Jackson died.
5:00 p.m.–Arrive at Long Beach’s International City Theater to see “Facing East” about a devout Mormon couple’s struggle to understand their gay son’s suicide. 5:10 p.m.–See “Square Dancing Straight” street sign, wonder if square dancing is straight, what is line dancing? 5:15 p.m.–Notice dozens of couples in very country looking outfits. 6:30 p.m.–Figure out that the National Square Dancing Competition is taking place next door to the play we’re seeing.
7:25 p.m.–Take Long Beach’s free shuttle from Shoreline Village to theater. Asked by woman on the bus to watch over her six-year-old son who has been separated from the family on the bus and who has been befriended by an older man who “was adamant about having the boy sit with him.” Creepy.
10:20 p.m.–On drive home from play, see 75 people with veladoras camped out outside Jack in the Box. They are there with 11 television vans and an army of sheriffs to mourn Michael Jackson, whose body has been transferred to the coroner’s office across the street.
Days where there are too many strange goings on make me nervous.
“My mother has devoted her life . . . “ May 27, 2009
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My favorite line from Sonia Sotomayor’s speech this morning was the one where she recognized the incredible role of a mother’s devotion. The full speech is here.
Thank you, Mr. President, for the most humbling honor of my life. You have nominated me to serve on the country’s highest court, and I am deeply moved.
Thank you again, sir.
I could not, in the few minutes I have today, mention the names of the many friends and family who have guided and supported me throughout my life, and who have been instrumental in helping me realize my dreams. (See pictures of Judge Sonia Sotomayor.)
I see many of those faces in this room. Each of you, whom I love deeply, will know that my heart today is bursting with gratitude for all you have done for me.
The President has said to you that I bring my family. In the audience is my brother Juan Sotomayor — he’s a physician in Syracuse, New York; my sister-in-law, Tracy (ph); my niece Kiley — she looks like me.
My twin nephews, Conner and Corey.
I stand on the shoulders of countless people, yet there is one extraordinary person who is my life aspiration. That person is my mother, Celina Sotomayor.
My mother has devoted her life to my brother and me. And as the President mentioned, she worked often two jobs to help support us after dad died. I have often said that I am all I am because of her, and I am only half the woman she is.
Sitting next to her is Omar Lopez, my mom’s husband and a man whom I have grown to adore. I thank you for all that you have given me and continue to give me. I love you.
I chose to be a lawyer and ultimately a judge because I find endless challenge in the complexities of the law. I firmly believe in the rule of law as the foundation for all of our basic rights.
For as long as I can remember, I have been inspired by the achievement of our founding fathers. They set forth principles that have endured for than more two centuries. Those principles are as meaningful and relevant in each generation as the generation before.
It would be a profound privilege for me to play a role in applying those principles to the questions and controversies we face today.
Although I grew up in very modest and challenging circumstances, I consider my life to be immeasurably rich. I was raised in a Bronx public housing project, but studied at two of the nation’s finest universities.
I did work as an assistant district attorney, prosecuting violent crimes that devastate our communities. But then I joined a private law firm and worked with international corporations doing business in the United States.
I have had the privilege of serving as a federal District Court trial judge, and am now serving as a federal Appellate Circuit Court judge.
This wealth of experiences, personal and professional, has helped me appreciate the variety of perspectives that present themselves in every case that I hear. It has helped me to understand, respect and respond to the concerns and arguments of all litigants who appear before me as well as to the views of my colleagues on the bench.
I strive never to forget the real world consequences of my decisions on individuals, businesses and government.
It is a daunting feeling to be here. Eleven years ago, during my confirmation process for appointment to the Second Circuit, I was given a private tour of the White House. It was an overwhelming experience for a kid from the South Bronx.
Yet never in my wildest childhood imaginings did I ever envision that moment, let alone did I ever dream that I would live this moment.
Mr. President, I greatly appreciate the honor you are giving me, and I look forward to working with the Senate in the confirmation process. I hope that as the Senate and American people learn more about me, they will see that I am an ordinary person who has been blessed with extraordinary opportunities and experiences. Today is one of those experiences.
One Thing I’ll Never Do May 24, 2009
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I’m never going to have children, so I’m sure I’ll never do some of those weird parental things we’ve all seen.
I do, however, have a mother, which means I am constantly subjected to odd quirks.
Today, for example, I discovered that my mom hides things around my house. Fortunately, they’re not gross or illegal, they’re just fresh. Air fresh, to be specific. She hides air fresheners behind my bed, under the clean sheets stored in my closet, behind the cleaning supplies under the sink, and in my shoes.
I hope she’s not sending me a message.
Verdades May 12, 2009
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At a certain point, the beauty of Mother’s Day is found in realizing that you know your mother and that she knows you and that you’re both willing to accomodate each other. You give up the pretense that there is a perfect gift, that you can plan the perfect meal together, or that you can even figure out on which day you’ll be able to get along in order to celebrate.
Our realization came Friday evening when my mom looked at me and declared that we’d have Mother’s Day dinner Friday night, “Porque nunca se sabe cuando vamos a salir peleadas.”
Chuckle. Yes mom, let’s have dinner on Friday because while we do love each other, you never know when how long it’ll be before we’re on each other’s nerves.
(Note, there was no fight Friday night, or Saturday all day, or even on Sunday, but, as my mother says, “mejor tomar precauciones.”)
Boston’s on Fire, and so is El Sereno May 3, 2009
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Or at least some of its hills. Fire seems to be under control now or that’s as much as I can tell by the white smoke and the fact that the helis are gone. Only question I have, why did the helicopters that practice water drops from the DWP property in Montecito Heights every weekend not actually show up when a fire broke out in the neighborhood?

Cross posted at L.A. Eastside.
Update: LAFD twitter site actually identifies the area of the fire as Lincoln Park Ave. and Pomona St., which makes it more like Lincoln Heights than El Sereno.
Recent “I like” April 9, 2009
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Meant to put this one up earlier this week, but travel prevented it. It’s Keith Olbermann’s tribute to his mom.
The Great Unwashed March 9, 2009
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As a kid, the highlight of our family’s weekly visit to the grocery store was being able to hang over the side of the ice cream freezer and inhale frozen air. For some reason, I thought it pretty cool to suck in frozen air until the insides of my nostrils stuck together. Looking back on it now, the pursuit of frozen nostrils seems to be why I never learned the general price or availability of certain grocery items (thus forever rendering me useless at “The Price is Right”). Perhaps that’s why, as an adult, I’m fascinated by the types of things you can find at the grocery store. I’m not just talking about the 100 varieties of olives or the 60 types of cheese, I’m talking about stuff like the “overripe bananas” bin at my local grocery store. The winner this week:
Uncleaned lettuce? I just always assumed it was unclean. New thing learned.
Endorsing Steve Zimmer February 19, 2009
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There’s nothing like knowing a candidate from way back in his early years to get you to vote for him. For those of you who can vote in the March 3 election here in Los Angeles—use your vote to elect Steve Zimmer. Steve is a dear friend of mine who has been committed to increasing educational opportunities in Los Angeles since graduating from college in the early 1990s. I’ve known Steve since that time when we both joined Teach for America and committed ourselves to giving all children the opportunity to receive an excellent education. Back then, our efforts involved days of student teaching English as a Second Language classes at Jefferson High School in Los Angeles (and sharing stories of our day while shagging fly balls at CSUN before our education classes). Two years later, I went off to pursue journalism and a career in law. Steve, however, continued his focus on education in Los Angeles. As Steve’s bio demonstrates, his passion and dedication have led him to take several positions within the school where he has worked and in its surrounding community, in order to address those issues that are critical to student achievement. He continues those efforts today as he looks to bring his broad experiences to the school board of the Los Angeles Unified School District. I look forward to the thoughtful advocacy and tireless efforts he will bring to the body tasked with addressing the critical issues affecting Los Angeles’ schools, students, and families. I hope you will join me in supporting him on the way to March 3.
Things to do in NYC on a February Day February 9, 2009
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1. See a good friend for brunch at City Grill, UWS;
2. Walk through Central Park in the early afternoon;
3. Wander the Plaza Hotel in search of a bathroom;
4. See your best friend’s sister for a Korean dinner;
5. See “In the Heights” on the night it wins a Grammy–cry during the show;
6. Enjoy a Brazilian cocktail (and Xingu beer) and tell the young. Brazilian immigrant bartender about the wonderful opportunities this country provides for immigrant children; and
7. Marvel at how NYC public transportation puts LA to shame.
Random February 5, 2009
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I was at a restaurant tonight where a large painting hung over the bar. At some point, I discovered that the man sitting behind me was the model for the painting. I was glad to hear this fact because I was wondering why anyone would have a painting of John Maynard Keynes hanging over the bar (the man behind me was not John Maynard Keynes).
The Ignored February 3, 2009
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Things I’ve ignored lately:
- My blog;
- Reading a book;
- Movies;
- Photography; and
- ESPN’s SportsCenter.
I’m sure there are more, but I just can’t muster up any more information right now. I’m hoping an upcoming vacation restores my creativity.
My favorite moments . . . January 21, 2009
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of today’s inaugural festivities:
- The huge smile worn by Yo-Yo Ma as he played with the quartet;
- The excitement on my colleagues’ faces when the subject matter of our job made it into the inaugural address; and
- The solemnity with which the whole occasion was observed by over 200 of my coworkers. Although I didn’t know most of those in the room, for an hour this morning, we were united in the hope for a better future.
Correction January 18, 2009
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Last week, the NYT let a councilman from Nashville get away with claiming that he was supportive of an English-only initiative in Nashville because, among other things, he didn’t think it was right for legislative offices to be able to use interpreters, “like they do in California.” The NYT seems neither to have checked the veracity of his statement nor pressed him on why he thought it was true.
Today, the NYT corrects itself.
An article last Sunday about an effort in Nashville to prohibit the government from using languages other than English included an incorrect statement from Councilman Eric Crafton of Nashville, the chief supporter of the city’s plan, about the California State Legislature. The Legislature has never had members who needed the proceedings translated into English for them. (Mr. Crafton, contacted after a reader alerted The Times, said he recalled seeing a story about such translators on television, but could not provide specifics or documentation for his claim.)
In my reading January 11, 2009
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I’ve always yelled at them. I yell, because I’m a yeller. I’m a yeller, and so I yell. My voice gets so hoarse it sounds like tires crunching over gravel. During the season, I go through economy-sized packages of throat lozenges.
Last week I watched Tennessee look like it was going to be blown out by Rutgers in a womens’ basketball game. I wanted to hide when faced with the mere thought of what Pat Summitt would sound like in the locker room at halftime. Later in the week, as I read the foregoing quote in her book Raise the Roof, I learned I was probably right.
Real Men of Genius December 16, 2008
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Who would have thought that two of my favorite things–chancla throwing and the “Real Men of Genius” beer commercials–could be combined so well.
.
Mother-Daughter Dialogue (Translated from Spanish) December 8, 2008
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The L.A. area had an earthquake on Friday. I felt it. My mom didn’t. Our exchange about it amused me.
Me: Hey mom, there’s an earthquake happening.
Me: Mom! Mom! Can you hear me? Earthquake!
Mom: Don’t yell. I knew there was an earthquake.
Me: Well, at least answer. Did you feel it?
Mom: No, I heard a dog bark, then I got really hot, so I knew there was an earthquake.
Me: So, hot flashes predict an earthquake?
Mom: Guess so.
This Writer’s Personality December 2, 2008
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This website purports to analyze your blog’s personality. It concluded that sonmislocuras.com is part of the ESFP (Extrovert-Sensing-Feeling-Perceiving) group. Also known as ”the performers,” this group is described as:
The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don’t like to plan ahead – they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.
They enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation – qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.
It’s close, but not exactly the personality type I’m generally assigned when I take the Myers-Briggs profile. Most of the time I get assigned to the ESTP (Extrovert-Sensing-Thinking-Perceiving) group. They’re known as “the doers” and are characterized as:
The active and playful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical outdoor activities.
The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.
Guess it just means that while blogging I’m nicer and more focused than I am in real life.
Happy T-Day Weekend November 26, 2008
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Enjoy your holiday weekend. Here’s a repost of my favorite T-day story. By me, of course.
Turkey Confessions
Several years ago, my extremely practical mother decided to visit me in Philadelphia. Although she was scared that her inability to understand English might leave her stranded in Phoenix or Washington D.C. as she navigated connecting flights, she made the trek east.
Because she is practical, my mom decided to pack the 15-pound holiday turkey she’d been given as a morale boost earlier in the week by the hotel where she worked as a housekeeper. She figured that since the turkey was too big for her to eat on her own, and I wouldn’t have one in Philadelphia (I don’t normally like turkey, but I’ll eat some of it if with others), an eight-hour long flight was justified for the bird.
But, baggage handling being what it is, my mother did not want the bird to get lost. So, she packed the frozen bird into her bowling bag-style carry-on purse. Because my mother doesn’t ever travel without packing and repacking often, she packed and repacked the turkey to determine how to best carry it onto the plane. However, because she is a little clueless about the reaction of those around her to her oh-so-practical ideas, she gave remarkably little thought to the reaction an airport screener might have to the sight of a skeleton appearing on the baggage x-ray machine.
At the airport on the day of her travel, the screener waited until my mom had gone through the security line and put on her Keds, jacket, scarf, and mittens (she was, after all, going to the East Coast) before calling her over with his index finger.
“What is that?” he said as he pointed to the skeleton splayed out on the screen before him.
“Toor-kee,” my mother responded, in the one word she knew for sure she could say and which would suffice as a full explanation.
He looked at her standing there, an elderly Mexican woman with salt and pepper hair, with complete confidence in the propriety of carrying a frozen turkey onto a plane, and no clue that it was a bit odd. And then, he shrugged while he laughed through an “ok” and waved her on through the line.
She recounted the story later that day when I picked her up in Philadelphia and was a little sheepish when she figured out that he was shocked because bones in a bag might not look so safe. She worried about what this man, who’d never seen her before and who would never see her again, might think about what it said about her that she carried bones cross country.
Fortunately for my mother, the embarrassment only lasted a few hours. Her sense of knowing right from wrong and not having to be born here to learn it was confirmed when, several hours into cooking the turkey at my house, we discovered that in my haste to clean for my mother, I’d returned the knob controlling the oven’s temperature onto the stove incorrectly. Rather than cooking at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for hours, the turkey had only been cooking at 250 degrees.
And that’s when the head shaking “Ay, mija!” moment, that always seemed to follow a head shaking “Ay, mom!” moment, appeared. My mom had forgotten her retrospective embarrassment and moved onto things that she knew were real and eternal—her American-born journalist daughter might be more educated and well-traveled than she was, but she would never be as wise.
Common Ground November 24, 2008
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Every now and then my mom and I stumble into a scene that reminds us that despite growing up in different countries at different times, we’re sharing the same life lessons.
On Friday night, we were pulling out of the parking lot near our hole-in-the-wall sushi place when we were stuck behind a slow black suv. The suv sat at the stop sign just in front of us for what seemed an eternity as it flashed its brake lights at us.
Impatient driver that I am, I became flustered and started venting to my mom about inexperienced drivers. She egged me on (having herself almost been run down several times on this stretch of road) and I cursed at the suv with the USC license plate holder. A block later, when the suv weaved to my right, I promptly and loudly revved my engine and zipped by it. “Take that, dumb USC driver,” I angrily thought.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught the driver waving at me as she called my name.
At the next stop sign, I pulled over. “You guys cannot do that to me,” I yelled out my window. “Do you know how little patience I have for bad drivers,” I laughed at my friends and neighbors. “We just wanted to say ‘Hi!’” they protested.
I laughed at myself and was embarrassed by the lack of patience and kindness I exhibit when lost in the universe of my own vehicle.
My mom then recalled a time several years ago when she was boarding a bus in Mexico. She had scoped out her seat and was fairly sure she had managed to score some extra arm room when a larger woman with lots of bags sat next to her.
My mom’s description of her inner irritation mirrored what I had just lived (although she was less charitable about the size, cleanliness, and looks of the woman sitting next to her). I laughed as she described her bitchy younger self and the unkind thoughts she had had about the woman.
She continued, “Y luego la señora me dice, ‘Prima, hola, que gusto verte aqui.’”
She laughed at the memory of her embarrassment upon finding out that the woman sitting next to her was her cousin and that they had a five-hour bus ride ahead of them.
Then my mom smiled at me in the full knowledge that despite all of our differences, we share the same instincts and seem to have the same lessons to learn.









