10% Off March 31, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Miscellaneous.3 comments
Someone I love is addicted to OSH. She makes stealth trips to this hardware store when I’m not around. Sunday mornings. Saturday at lunch. During the week when I can’t tell. Sometimes I don’t even know when she gets there. All I know is that when I get home there are work gloves, paint, and yellow CAUTION tape strewn all over the place.
I don’t mind the addiction, but it amuses me.
Who gets up and first thing thinks, “Gee, we need sealer for the back patio?”
I don’t.
Who reads the Sunday L.A. Times and finds the most interesting piece to be the “10% off anything you can stuff in this bag on Sunday” ad?
I don’t.
But she does. I think she might need help someday. I just hope she doesn’t come looking for me when she needs help painting.
P2 Karma March 30, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Breaking News, Los Angeles, Miscellaneous.4 comments
A while ago, I mocked the name of a horror movie set in a parking structure. The parking structure gods came after me for it.
The scene was the first floor of the One Wilshire parking lot in Downtown L.A. on Friday night. I came in, paid my flat fee, and went off to celebrate a friend’s birthday. When I returned to the parking structure a few hours later, I found myself locked in—the giant steel gate blocked my exit and I couldn’t get out.
I asked the security guys to open the gate. They said they would and shortly thereafter the gate opened at the top of the ramp. What they didn’t do was raise the wooden arm that blocked the exit lane that led to the security gate.
I figured my instructions needed to be more explicit, so I left my car and walked back up to the security guard. “Hey, you forgot to raise the arm.”
“Uh, well, ma’am, we can’t find the key,” the security guard informed me. “Someone took it.”
“How do you expect us to get out,” I asked. He shrugged.
I called the building’s management company. They’re closed until Monday. I called the emergency number—it referred me to the security guard who shrugged. I asked for any emergency number he had. ”Uh, I don’t have one,” he fessed up.
I thought briefly about calling the fire department, and then I saw the security “supervisor” trying keys. He tried about 50 before he decided none of them worked. I guess he wanted to check if maybe he had unlocking authority he hadn’t been told about.
Finally, after half an hour, a maintenance guy found a wrench and unscrewed the arm. With the last turn of his wrench, the arm raised and let loose the eight of us who waited.
I swore Friday’s trip was the last one to One Wilshire, even as I vowed to keep my future mocking of parking structures to a minimum.
Random Danger March 27, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Breaking News, Miscellaneous.4 comments
I have a friend who is marvelously dangerous—to himself. His latest self-inflicted wound came when he put the weed whacker between his legs for “just a second” while he tended to something else. He ended up slicing open the backside of his knee.
My friend is a few years from being 40. Because he is often the victim of freak domestic accidents, a group of us doesn’t think he’ll make it. We’re writing his eulogy now.
Although I fall a lot, I’m not generally subject to quite the same number of random accidents as my friend. This week was different. I managed to get a paper cut behind my right ear.
I know, it’s odd. But, when you’re chopping up giant cardboard boxes and stuffing them into the recycling bin, sometimes the pieces of carboard resist the folding you’ve imposed and they jump out at you. They did, and landed all around my head, slicing me behind the ear on their way to the floor.
Be careful out there, danger lurks everywhere.
My Genes on Easter March 23, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Miscellaneous.add a comment
Easter has never been a big deal in my family, but sometimes the stories are too good to ignore. I’m just not sure if they speak to the good or bad DNA that courses through my family’s veins. Two Easter observations from my side of the family:
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The three-year-old niece doesn’t quite get Easter egg hunts. When she and a throng of other little ones are set loose on the treasure trove hidden in the local park’s field, she just stands at the starting line. There she is, a towering giant of a three-year-old getting passed up by crawling babies, and still she won’t pick anything up unless told to do so.
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My sister saw this coming and tried to prevent it by “practicing” an Easter egg hunt with my niece.
I guess that means we are, at the same time, aware of the meaningless nature of things like Easter egg hunts, but too competitive to let them pass us by.
It Works Again March 21, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Los Angeles, Miscellaneous.1 comment so far
The point of this photo was supposed to be that, yes, a digital camera that decided to go swimming with you can work again. This particular camera was cryogenically treated for three months, then air dried for another four.
Yeah, so I did have to get another camera in the interim, but one day, this one came back. This photo was supposed to show that the camera’s photo quality is just as good as before, but nightfall kind of got in the way. Oh well, I still think the full moon looks very cool.
I Hate You In The Spring March 18, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Miscellaneous, That writing I mentioned.1 comment so far
Some years ago, I had a roommate who, about this time of year, looked at me and noted, “I hate you in the spring.”
More out of curiousity than hurt, I asked why.
She said that in the spring I came home from my teaching and coaching duties only to lift the couch on which she slept soundly. As we watched telenovelas, I inexplicably pounced on her and tickled her until she said, “Chavo.” At dinner, I just nudged her off a chair.
“It’s like I’m being attacked for no reason,” she complained.
I told her it wasn’t for no reason, it was just that in the springtime, when daylight lasts forever, and there’s always a game on where I can swing a bat, throw a ball, and have people chase me, I feel strong. For whatever reason, that means roughhousing ensues.
I agreed to be more gentle with her. She agreed to at least put up something of a fight.
I recalled this exchange today because I felt STRONG!!! I’m not turning my blog into a workout diary, but after running 5 miles and doing a gazillion pushups, all I want to do is pounce.
Get it right, folks March 14, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Miscellaneous.add a comment
This correction, five days after the NYT’s big story on Barack Obama’s senate record. Not quite the gotcha they’d hope for in light of the facts.
A front-page article on Sunday about the Senate record of Barack Obama referred incorrectly in some copies to his position on a drawdown of troops from Iraq. After joining the Senate in 2005 Mr. Obama spoke in favor of a drawdown, including in a speech on Nov. 22 of that year. He did not propose a drawdown “only after he was running for president and polls showed voters favoring it.” (What he did do after becoming a candidate was to propose legislation calling for a drawdown.)
No Judgments, Just Run March 12, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Miscellaneous.9 comments
My back’s feeling better and I’m running again. Trying for five days a week, a few miles every day. I hate it, hate it, hate it, but it’s helped me lose a dozen pounds in two and half months. Did I say I hate it? In any event, here are some of the tunes that get me through it. Say what you want about my musical taste, but it makes the hour fly by.
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You’re Timeless to Me–John Travolta and Christopher Walken (Nothing like thinking about Travolta in drag to take your mind off of treadmill tedium);
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Race Car Driver–Girl In A Coma (Girls can rock!);
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Supermodel–Jill Sobule (Got to dream about what I’m gonna look like after this regimen);
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They Can’t Deport Us All–Chingo Bling (“My daddy said ‘jes.’ No dad, you’re supposed to say ‘yes.’ We’re busted.”);
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Stayin’ Alive–Teddybears remix of the Bee Gees (That just sounds funny);
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I Got Rhythm–Lena Horne and Q-Tip (Reminds me to be creative in how I think about classic ideas);
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I Want You To Want Me–Cheap Trick (No reason needed);
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Insane in the Brain–Cypress Hill (Helps keep people away from my treadmill if I sing it loudly enough); and
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The Walk–The Cure (The best 80s band ever).
Lazy Saturday March 9, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Breaking News, Miscellaneous.6 comments
Why?
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Meeting baby Alexander;
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Sitting by the pool in 80 degree weather;
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Finishing off González & Daughter Trucking Co.; and
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Pho.
That Lawyer from California March 6, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Breaking News.8 comments
The highlight of my Texas trip was the chance to be a legal observer at one of that state’s precinct conventions (something like a caucus). This meant I was tasked with trying to ensure that everyone follow the loose set of rules for the convention to which I was assigned.
My work was cut out for me. Upon arriving at the precinct convention, it became clear that the temporary precinct chair had no intention of following even the most basic convention rules. For example, although the rules explicitly say that convention sign in cannot begin until the later of 7:15 p.m. or when the last voter votes, the temporary chair, a councilwoman from San Antonio, wanted to begin signing in her Hillary supporters. I explained that she could not, and she immediately began telling the crowd of about 150 that “the lawyer from California” did not want them to begin on time. And thus began the night.
When she attempted to tell me I had no right to be in the convention, I had to pull out legal citations explaining that conventions are public, but only those who have voted can sign in and be counted. This was met with, “the lawyer from California wants to tell us how to do things here in Texas.”
When explaining to convention goers that they would have the chance to elect her permanent chair for the convention, this California lawyer had to pipe up and tell them they could also choose to elect someone else.
When she tried to intimidate me by publicly asking for my name and other identifying information, I said my name to the crowd and handed her my driver’s license. I had nothing to hide.
When she seemed to have had enough, she asked the crowd if they’d make a motion for me to sit down. They did and I sat down–on a step on the stage right next to where she was speaking, so I could correct her if she continued to ignore the rules for conventions.
She didn’t like my impertinence. At one point she tried to turn the crowd against me by telling them I was keeping them from leaving because I was insisting that she check the names of those who signed in against the official list of those who voted. Never mind that this is exactly what the rules require.
The behavior toward me was so bad that two different Obama supporters came up to me and said, “Please don’t take this back as your impression of San Antonio. We’re not all as rude as what you’ve seen here tonight.” Another convention attendee came up and thanked me for sticking around despite the treatment.
I’ve had tense moments as a lawyer before. There have been belligerent opposing counsel, mean partners, and recalcitrant witnesses, but I’ve never had a room full of 100 people getting up and surrounding me because they didn’t like what I had to say.
I guess I’m happy to report that the turn of events didn’t make me nervous. It actually made me really glad to be a lawyer. I got to use humor, common sense, respect, and more knowledge than my opponent to get what I wanted–a fair opportunity to be heard for those people who wanted to support my candidate. I don’t always feel like I get to use those skills in quite the way I did in Texas.
Nevertheless, despite my efforts and those of many others, Obama had a rough time in San Antonio on Tuesday. It was no different in my precinct where the result of our convention awarded him only four of 18 delegates.
Obamonos A Texas March 3, 2008
Posted by notoriouslig in Breaking News.1 comment so far
In Texas for a few days to do whatever needs to be done to help Barack Obama’s campaign here. You’ve seen the polls, the race is tight. Plus, they have this crazy vote once at the polls and then come back for a Precinct Convention system here. They’re calling it the Texas Two-Step. This Precinct Convention thing is weird. Not very many people know anything about that caucus-type event that takes place in the evening and awards up to one-third of the state’s delegates.
And for those who watch voter protection efforts. In Texas, only in-state lawyers can be in the polling place while voting takes place. So basically, no “outsiders” can monitor the election. I thought that was interesting.
Some photos of random Obama-related events and sites from Austin and Houston here.
